Becoming Visible

Recent events in my denomination have me pondering, trying desperately not to react out of the emotions of anger or despair. I see the “official” Church right now as a stone-solid face that averts it’s eyes as they give instructions to “stay the course”. No compassion, no solidarity, just a blank stare straight ahead. If I leave there will be no reaching out to gather me back in.

I love Community of Christ, more than just about anything. To me, the issue is not so much the leaders not making decisions, it’s the body of christ that will not look me in the eye, will not engage in the conversation, and lives their spiritual lives oblivious to the harm they do.

I am feeling like the abused spouse assigned the role of submission, who has believed too long that the other was really listening and commited to working for the well-being of the relationship. The truth seems to be that the promises of counseling, conversation and discernment are forever put-off. If I love myself and if I love the church, then I have to stop putting up with the avoidance and lip service and make it stick, even by leaving the relationship. I’m looking, but I don’t see a different path that leads anywhere except right back to where we are.  I’m not willing to hand this legacy  to another generation.

I’m in online discussion boards with LDS folk and also the Community of Christweboard.  Lately, constantly… the cry is that there is no hope, that  we are so polarized on gay marriage, that God will have a fit, the country will combust, and Community of Christ will splinter into oblivion if there is further movement towards affirming gltb persons.   It’s tiring, frustrating, and often discouraging conversation with occasional beautiful, transcendent moments of Community.  Not today though.  So, I’ll post my mini rant here.

Part of the role of Prophets is telling the people what they don’t want to know, who they are neglecting or rejecting in their servanthood, and the consequences of continuing on that path. In different times in the past the prophetic call was to go against the dominant culture and treat the orphans, widows, poor, aliens, strangers, gentiles, greeks, gentiles, slaves, other races, women, etc with kindness, dignity, justice, and even equality. Their counsel is often not well received. While not a Prophet, Paul’s Letters give prophetic counsel to a church that was hemorrhaging over issues very familiar and close in our times– who is included and/or who is equal in Christ’s Community. Many Saints were offended and fearful that the “wrong” kind of people were being included.

The Jewish Christians thought the authentic follower of Christ had to be Jewish first, via circumcision and the Law. The Greeks said “no way!”. These Christians were as unreconciled as we are today. The familiar battle lines of men ruling women were erased in Paul’s vision of Christianity and that made the Saints at odds. The slaves were equal with the rich and even officiated in worship. This was blasphemous to people who were a part of Roman culture, yet that was the Way in Christianity.

Even Romans 1 gives grace if we put ourselves in the Roman world. The popular, normal, community religion there had temples where same sex prostitution/slavery was the Way to gain the qualities of the Gods.   Paul called them on it in a long list of Community destroying attitudes and actions, but also told the Saints that they were in no position to judge righteously; they do these things themselves.

I think Signal Communities is a call back to Paul’s understanding of Christian life. Out there, in the culture and Government and popular religions, some people are devalued and mistreated and some are idolized and treated as Gods. Paul said, in here…in our fellowship we defy the popular religions and culture and goverment that says otherwise, in Christ we are equal. Even if it costs us our lives to do, because We choose to Die of ourselves, and take on Christ. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” To me, this Kingdom lifestyle is a Signal or Beacon that we have taken Christ into our being as a church.  A Beacon of Welcome…

We are one in the Spirit… It very much captures Paul’s vision of community following Christ.

The US situation has changed dramatically in the past 6 months or so. The tide has turned. The water has not all shifted, but the momentum is such that it won’t be stopped. The question in regards to legal marriage is no longer “if”, but “How soon?”   As far as the Church accepting it… Most of the current financial sustainers will die in the next 10 years. North American young adults will not likely affiliate with a church that does not accept gay equality. In the next few years the $ issue will bring the discussion, one way or another. I want to be clear, I don’t think $ should be the reason we decide, but soon our survival will force a discussion if we don’t address it for other reasons.

I am more frustrated with these discussions than I used to be. I’m in the process of deciding for myself if the discussions do more harm than good. My fear is that they give a perception of validity to really harmful and disproven notions.  At  some point, the benefits of publicly debating racial equality or womens rights to vote were outweighed by the  detriments.  In many circles I think the gltb equality has reached that place.

The social and medical and legal world affirm that:

Children are not harmed being raised by gays.
Gays are not more or less likely to be pedofiles or mentally ill.
Gay marriages are as stable as straight marriages.
In the US, ministers are not forced to perform gay marriages.

This leaves the reason of last resort, God will really get mad and who knows what he will do? At least, that’s my perception right this minute. I am open to hearing other reasons.

I now know the toll of just a couple of years of this. I have no idea how so many gltb have held up and kept any relationship with Christianity. Their patience and bearing with the mental, social, and even physical harm done them by Christians, and still being willing to risk and love bring me to tears.

I hear the prophetic voice of the church calling us to consider again how we view Scripture, and especially when it involves assigning secondary and lower status to others. I wish I heard it in my congregations. I want to hear honest, deep, loving, reasoned, Spirit-filled discussions on the reasons people do or do not want gays to be able to marry.   I honestly do.

I am drawn to this prayer on Mother’s Day.  My Mom and my paternal Grandmother both have Alzheimer’s disease.  Mom is in the very last days of life, weighs 80 lbs.  Each morning, before I plan my day, I check to see if she is warm to the touch.  Grandma is able to live in a Senior citizen apartment complex and prepare simple meals, and I supervise the details of her life.  I hope the photos bear witness to the vibrant women they were.  These women loved and nurtured me for a lifetime.

Loving God,

Please bless every mother who has Alzheimer’s disease.

She was with us children as we learned to walk.
— Guide her uncertain steps today as her balance fails her.

She taught us to cross streets and be safe.
— Help her not to get lost, even in her familiar surroundings.

She held us close in the terrors of the darkest nightmares.
— May she not be frightened today by the reality of her life, which is strange and totally out of her control.

She cooked thousands of meals over decades of time.
— Please allow her to accept the caring hand that now feeds her.

She changed diapers, Lord, and served you each time she did.
— Please give her now the humility and grace to be served in this way.

Loving God, the familiar eyes of my mother
now respond with a blank stare.
She is unable to carry on a conversation,
to ask about her family
or to serve in the central role she has in our family.

Help her accept the surrender of her life these days.
Open her prayerful heart and fading mind
to be aware of your presence with her,
perhaps now closer than ever.

Give us, her family, the patience, courage and acceptance
to love her as she is and to support her in her daily needs.

Amen

~unknown

Mom and Grandma